Developing Your Own Leadership Style: Using Strengths, Knowing Weaknesses

Many people start in leadership with an unspoken question:

• How am I actually supposed to be as a leader?
• Should I be especially clear?
• Approachable?
• Assertive?
• Inspiring?
• Structured?
• Empathetic?

The honest answer is: there is no single right leadership style.

Good leadership does not come from playing a role perfectly. It comes from learning to lead consciously. With your own strengths. With a clear view of your own weaknesses. And with the willingness to keep developing.

Your own leadership style is not a finished label. It develops through experience, reflection, and feedback.

Why your own leadership style matters

Leadership always has an effect. Even when it is not shaped consciously.

How you make decisions, communicate, give feedback, deal with pressure, or address conflicts shapes your team. People do not only pay attention to what you say. They also observe how you behave.

A clear leadership style helps you become more predictable and credible.

That does not mean you always have to act in the same way. Different situations need different responses. But your team should be able to sense what you stand for.

For example:

• How do you make decisions?
• How do you deal with mistakes?
• How much ownership do you hand over?
• How directly do you address problems?
• How do you create orientation?
• How do you react under stress?
• How important are trust, performance, and development to you?

If these questions remain unanswered, leadership often happens by chance. Sometimes there is control, sometimes freedom. Sometimes communication is clear, sometimes difficult topics are avoided. That creates uncertainty in teams.

Your own leadership style creates orientation.

Leadership starts with self-awareness

Before you develop your leadership style, you need an honest look at yourself.

Because leadership is not only method. Leadership is also personality.

That does not mean you should “just stay as you are”. But it does mean: you cannot lead against yourself in the long run. Someone who is very relationship-oriented will struggle with a purely authoritarian style. Someone who thinks in a very structured way will probably not seem credible if they suddenly try to lead only spontaneously and casually.

Authentic leadership does not mean: I do everything exactly as I feel like doing it.

Authentic leadership means: I know myself well enough to consciously decide how I want to show up and what the situation needs.

Area 1: Recognizing your own strengths

Strengths are more than what you are good at. They are often also what gives you energy and creates real value for others.

In leadership, strengths can look very different.

For example:

• You are good at creating structure.
• You listen attentively.
• You make decisions quickly.
• You recognize potential in others.
• You bring calm into tense situations.
• You can explain complex topics clearly.
• You are reliable and consistent.
• You address things directly.
• You motivate others.
• You build strong relationships.
• You think strategically.
• You stay capable of acting under pressure.

Important: not every strength is loud. Some leaders are strong through presence, others through clarity, others through trust, others through pace.

Tip: Ask about impact, not only skills

Many people underestimate their own strengths because they feel natural to them.

So do not only ask:

• What am I good at?

Also ask:

• When do others come to me for support?
• What do I often receive positive feedback for?
• What feels easy to me but difficult for others?
• In which situations am I especially helpful?
• Which of my behaviors gives others orientation?

Your leadership style should build on your real strengths. Not on an ideal image you have read somewhere.

Area 2: Knowing weaknesses without defining yourself by them

Knowing your weaknesses does not mean making yourself small.

It means recognizing risks in your own behavior.

Every strength can become a weakness under pressure.

For example:

• Clarity can become harshness.
• Empathy can become conflict avoidance.
• Speed can become impatience.
• Structure can become control.
• Trust can become lack of commitment.
• Perfectionism can become micromanagement.
• Decisiveness can become ignoring other perspectives.
• A need for harmony can lead to addressing problems too late.

This is especially important in leadership. Because your weaknesses do not only affect you. They influence collaboration in the team.

Tip: Observe yourself under stress

Under normal conditions, many people lead in a reflected way. It becomes interesting under pressure.

Ask yourself:

• How do I react when things get tight?
• Do I become more controlling?
• Do I withdraw?
• Do I become impatient?
• Do I address things too directly or too late?
• Do I take on too much myself?
• Do I delegate responsibility or hold on to it?
• Do I seek exchange or decide alone?

Your behavior under stress often shows very clearly which development areas are relevant for your leadership style.

Area 3: Values as an inner compass

A leadership style becomes more stable when it is based on values.

Values are what matters to you in leadership. They influence how you make decisions and what you expect from collaboration.

Possible leadership values include:

• trust
• clarity
• responsibility
• fairness
• development
• transparency
• commitment
• courage
• respect
• result orientation
• learning
• initiative

Values are especially helpful when situations become unclear.

If transparency is important to you, you will be more likely to explain decisions. If ownership matters to you, you will control less and enable more. If fairness matters to you, you will pay attention to whether tasks and recognition are distributed one-sidedly.

Tip: Choose three leadership values

Not ten. Three are enough.

Ask yourself:

• Which values should my team experience in everyday work?
• Which values are especially important to me when things get difficult?
• Which values do I not only want to claim, but actually show?

Then translate each value into behavior.

Example:

• Value: clarity
  Behavior: I communicate expectations concretely.

• Value: trust
  Behavior: I hand over responsibility and do not constantly check in.

• Value: development
  Behavior: I give feedback and create learning opportunities.

Values only become effective when they become observable.

Area 4: Shaping communication consciously

Leadership happens largely through communication.

Not only in big conversations. But in everyday moments.

In meetings.
In quick questions.
In feedback moments.
In emails.
In conflicts.
In decisions.

Your communication style shapes whether people feel oriented, seen, or overlooked.

It is not about speaking perfectly. It is about communicating clearly and consciously.

Typical questions for your communication style

• Am I more direct or more cautious?
• Do I explain decisions sufficiently?
• Do I really listen or am I already preparing my answer?
• Do I ask enough questions?
• Do I communicate expectations clearly?
• Do I give feedback in time?
• Do I communicate differently under stress?
• Are there topics I avoid?

Tip: Use clear leadership sentences

Sometimes simple sentences help make leadership more tangible.

For example:

• “It is important to me that we create clarity here.”
• “I want to understand your perspective.”
• “What do you need to take the next step well?”
• “Let’s separate the person from the problem.”
• “I see a risk here that we should discuss.”
• “My expectation is specifically …”
• “What is your suggestion?”
• “What can we learn from this?”

Sentences like these create orientation and make your style recognizable.

Area 5: Making decisions and giving responsibility

An important part of your leadership style shows in how you make decisions.

Some leaders decide very quickly. Others collect perspectives for a long time. Some involve the team strongly. Others prefer to decide alone.

There is no single right version. What matters is that your approach fits the situation and is transparent.

Teams mainly need clarity about:

• Who decides?
• Who is involved?
• Which criteria matter?
• By when will the decision be made?
• What has already been decided?
• Where is there room for shaping?

Uncertainty often does not come from the decision itself, but from unclear decision-making processes.

Tip: Make decision spaces visible

Say consciously what kind of decision it is:

• “I will make this decision, but I want to hear your perspectives first.”
• “We will make this decision together.”
• “There is no room for change here, but I will explain the background.”
• “I would like you to develop a proposal.”
• “The goal is set. We can shape the way there together.”

This creates transparency. And it prevents disappointment.

Area 6: Enabling feedback and development

Leadership is not only about distributing tasks. Leadership also means enabling development.

For this, feedback is needed.

Many leaders give feedback too rarely or too generally. Sometimes out of uncertainty. Sometimes because there is no time. Sometimes because they want to avoid conflict.

But feedback does not have to be big and heavy. Small, specific feedback moments in everyday work are often more effective.

Good feedback is

• specific
• timely
• respectful
• observable
• development-oriented
• not shaming

Tip: Use a simple structure

A helpful feedback structure is:

• Observation: What did I specifically notice?
• Impact: What effect did it have?
• Wish or next step: What would be helpful?

Example:

“I noticed that you summarized the open points clearly in the meeting. That gave the team orientation. Please keep doing that in the next meeting.”

Or:

“I noticed that the response to the customer came very late. That meant we had to adjust internally. Let’s look at what you need so that this happens earlier next time.”

Feedback does not have to be perfectly phrased. It needs to be honest, respectful, and helpful.

Area 7: Balancing closeness and distance

A common leadership question is:

How close should I be to the team?

This becomes especially important when someone moves from being a colleague into a leadership role. Suddenly the role changes. You remain human, but you carry additional responsibility.

Too much distance can feel cold. Too much closeness can make decisions harder.

A good leadership style therefore needs a conscious balance.

Closeness shows through

• interest
• listening
• reliability
• support
• humanity
• approachability

Distance shows through

• clear decisions
• role awareness
• fair treatment
• boundaries
• confidentiality
• consistency

Both are important.

You can be approachable and still make clear decisions.
You can be empathetic and still formulate expectations.
You can be friendly and still set boundaries.

Tip: Clarify your role actively

Especially when moving from colleague to leader, an open conversation helps.

For example:

“It is important to me that we continue to work well and trustfully together. At the same time, my role is changing. I will have to make decisions that will not always be comfortable for everyone. Let’s deal with that openly.”

This reduces tension and creates clarity.

Area 8: Adapting your style to situations

Having your own leadership style does not mean always leading in the same way.

Sometimes a team needs clear direction.
Sometimes it needs space.
Sometimes it needs protection.
Sometimes it needs speed.
Sometimes it needs reflection.
Sometimes it needs a decision.

Good leadership is not rigid. It is conscious.

That means: you know your basic attitude, but you adapt your behavior to the situation.

Examples

• New employees often need more orientation.
• Experienced employees often need more freedom.
• In crises, more clarity and prioritization are needed.
• For innovation, more questions and experiments are needed.
• In conflicts, it takes courage to address things.
• In overload, protection and focus are needed.

Tip: Ask yourself before important situations

• What does the situation need right now?
• What does the person or team need?
• What is my natural impulse?
• Is my impulse helpful right now or getting in the way?
• What would be effective leadership in this moment?

This helps you lead consciously instead of automatically.

First steps for applying it yourself

Your own leadership style does not develop in one day. But you can start very concretely.

1. Write down your leadership image

Answer for yourself:

• What do I want to stand for as a leader?
• What should my team experience through me?
• What do I want to enable?
• What do I want to avoid?
• Which three values should shape my leadership?

Keep it short. Half a page is enough.

2. Create your strengths profile

Write down:

• Three strengths that help me in leadership
• Three situations in which these strengths become visible
• One strength that can tip under pressure
• One behavior I want to pay attention to consciously

3. Ask for specific feedback

Ask two or three people:

• Where do you experience me as strong?
• What gives you orientation in working with me?
• Where do I sometimes seem unclear or difficult?
• What should I show more as a leader?
• What should I do less?

Important: do not defend. First listen.

4. Choose one development area

Not everything at once.

Choose one topic for the next four weeks:

• communicate more clearly
• delegate better
• give feedback faster
• address conflicts earlier
• listen more
• make decisions more transparent
• control less
• recognize successes more consciously

5. Formulate a small experiment

For example:

• “I will start each team meeting with one clear priority.”
• “In 1:1 conversations, I will ask one more question before giving advice.”
• “I will give at least one specific positive feedback each week.”
• “When making decisions, I will clearly state who decides.”
• “I will address a difficult topic within 48 hours.”

An experiment reduces pressure. It does not have to be perfect. It creates experience.

6. Reflect regularly

Take ten minutes once a week and ask yourself:

• Where did I lead consciously this week?
• Where did I fall back into old patterns?
• What feedback did I receive?
• What worked well?
• What do I want to do differently next week?

Leadership develops through reflection. Not through perfection.

Common pitfalls

When developing your own leadership style, a few traps come up often.

1. Copying someone else

Role models are helpful. But copying rarely feels authentic.

Take inspiration, but check:

• Does this fit me?
• Does this fit my team?
• Does this fit the situation?

2. Only looking at weaknesses

Of course, development areas matter. But a good leadership style does not emerge by only repairing deficits.

Use your strengths consciously. That is often where your greatest impact lies.

3. Misunderstanding authenticity

“That is just who I am” is not a good leadership attitude.

Authenticity does not mean doing everything unfiltered according to your own impulse. It means being real while also taking responsibility for your impact.

4. Changing too much at once

If you want to improve everything at the same time, it becomes confusing.

Better: one focus. One experiment. One time period.

5. Avoiding feedback

Without feedback, self-image often remains just self-image.

Leadership needs an outside view. Even when it is uncomfortable.

Conclusion

Developing your own leadership style does not mean becoming a perfect leader.

It means leading more consciously.

With your own strengths.
With an honest view of your own weaknesses.
With clear values.
With reflected communication.
With feedback.
And with the willingness to learn from experience.

A good leadership style is not rigid. It grows with you.

It does not show itself in big mission statements, but in everyday work:

• how you listen
• how you decide
• how you give feedback
• how you deal with mistakes
• how you share responsibility
• how you react under pressure
• how much development you trust people with

The first step is simple:

Do not only ask: “What kind of leader should I be?”

Ask:

“What kind of leader am I already – and how do I want to become more consciously effective?”